Drunk Driving Safer than Driving and Texting

Its official... believe it or not drunk driving is much safer than texting driving... the habit of texting while driving. So all of you texters out there this study is for you.
Recently Car And Driver magazine ran tests at two different speeds, 35 miles per hour and 75 mph, with two different subjects, a 22-year-old intern and the 37-year-old editor-in-chief. Then, the test measured the amount of time it took subjects to stop when prompted by a set of LEDs (mounted on the windshield). This was meant to simulate break lights on a car ahead of the subjects. Using that as a baseline, Car And Driver measured how much longer it took the intern and the editor to stop when reading a text, writing a text, and drunk.

The intern took an extra seven feet to stop at 35 mph, and 15 extra feet at 75 mph while intoxicated. But those numbers doubled when texting -- an extra 31 feet were needed while texting at 75 mph. Wow.

The older editor-in-chief did even worse. He took an extra 319 feet to stop while texting at 75 Mph, but only 17 more while three sheets to the wind. bottom line... don't text and drive!

Adopted from Switched by Terrence O'Brien

An Altar in the World

From simple practices such as walking, working, and getting lost to deep meditations on topics like prayer and pronouncing blessings, Taylor reveals concrete ways to discover the sacred in the small things we do and see. Something as ordinary as hanging clothes on a clothesline becomes an act of devotion if we pay attention to what we are doing and take time to attend to the sights, smells, and sounds around us. Making eye contact with the cashier at the grocery store becomes a moment of true human connection. Allowing yourself to get lost leads to new discoveries. Under Taylor's expert guidance, we come to question conventional distinctions between the sacred and the secular, learning that no physical act is too earthbound or too humble to become a path to the divine. As we incorporate these practices into our daily lives, we begin to discover altars everywhere we go, in nearly everything we do.

Recovering Couples

Addopted from the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity

Sex addiction is a family disease. Both partners have been part of the problem and both can participate in the recovery process, individually and together. Couples who are willing to identify and to work through individual issues such as family of origin difficulties, possible past traumas or neglect, and the need for better skills to cultivate intimacy, can do well in recovery.

Couples who do well:

1. Have made their individual recovery a first priority,
2. Both connect with others through attending 12-step meetings as well as reach out to others for support,
3. Usually have individual and couple counseling to identify systems that no longer work,
4. Accept that couple recovery is a challenging and evolving journey,
5. Read books and employ audiovisual resources for information,
6. Are willing to grow spiritually,
7. Have a strong respect for a commitment toward each other.

WHAT TO EXPECT:

The first three to six months of couple recovery are usually the most stressful. Both partners will experience a wide range of powerful feelings. There are often difficulties in the areas of communication styles, intimacy levels, sexuality, spirituality, parenting, past trauma, and finances. Identification of the sexual addiction/coaddiction systems, although painful at first, holds hope for eventual relief of the far greater pain of the addiction.

The following is a list of what to expect in the early stages:


Relief: The addict usually finds a great sense of relief after admitting the secret of the addiction. The end of the double life and shame may bring a premature sense of accomplishment, which needs to be reinforced by attending meetings, going to therapy, and connecting with program friends for support. Partners and Spouses also feel a sense of relief at the end of secrecy and validation of their experience of pain.

Anger: Both partners can expect to experience anger. The revelation that the life partner is a sex addict may trigger much anger mixed with legitimate hurt and betrayal. The addict feels anger about the need to make changes as part of recovery. Both partners may blame and shame the other.

Hope: The work being done by both partners can bring new life and hope to the relationship. Both partners are encouraged to work in therapy and attend separate 12-step meetings as well as couples meetings such as Recovering Couples Anonymous.

Self-esteem: The self-esteem of both partners initially may worsen but with continued work will improve.

Intimacy: Recovering couples begin to communicate at a more intimate level, often on issues they have never discussed before. Communication skills such as empathic listening, being respectful, and expressing vulnerability, are essential to both partners' recovery.

Grief: The addict experiences pain over the loss of their "best friend," the addiction. The co-addict mourns the loss of the relationship as it was imagined to be. Co-addicts often berate themselves for not having been aware sooner of the addiction.

Sexual issues: Sexuality has a different meaning in recovery. The goal becomes intimacy rather than intensity. Abstinence, and later the frequency, types, and quality of sexual contacts, are issues that the recovering couple must address. Past sexual relationships as well as possible past child sexual abuse of either partner need to be explored. Where other sexual partners were involved, the possibility of HIV infection and other sexually transmitted diseases must be faced early. Couples who continue to learn about healthy sexuality will do better as they address these sexual issues.

Spirituality: Couples who grow spiritually together have hope that a power greater than themselves is also involved in the re-creating of their relationship.

HOW TO GET HELP:

A therapist trained in sexual addiction is an invaluable recovery tool for both the individual and for the relationship. Some addicts and their spouses/partners may benefit from intensive outpatient services or possibly inpatient treatment. For information on such services, write or call the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity.